Thursday 12 March 2009

Perseverance

I haven't been about for some time now as i have been bouncing in and out of hospital. I am now out and touch wood will stay out for a decent length of time. The last few admissions have been very scary for me and probably some of the worst I have experienced as my lungs for some reason would not respond to treatment very well. I am not sure what this has been caused by but the Dr persevered and eventually we got them to behave.
After being discharged I went back to uni to do all the usual things like hand in my sick note and discharge letter from the hospital to give to my course tutors to sort out extensions and things. But this time it is different. I have always managed to catch up with uni work when being in hospital and never really had any great problem. The uni have been great and always very accommodating. But now I have missed so much I have to make the decision which has really already been made. Do i stay and risk my health getting worse in the hope of getting a degree in October or do i quit now and save my health and leave uni with a diploma in higher education??? I am not sure. I no for one thing I have to go home on Wednesday for some time to rest and get better but i don't know if I will return to Winchester as a student. I have battled through and feel if i don't finish it will be a waste but at the same time if i do quit now I will save myself from completely ruining my health even more.
I have always tried to do my best but have noticed that my work is never as good when i am not feeling well as it is when i am quite stable. My first year I averaged a first my 2nd year it dropped and this in my third year has dropped again. I have never failed anything but really not sure if it is all worth the risk.
I also face leaving my friends behind. i know they will always keep in touch but they are my friends and i see them every day. This will be very hard to leave.
I need to sit down and think about all my options and what is worth the risk and what is not.
I always follow things through to the end but think this may be something that no matter how much i try I just wont be able to achieve right now.

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